Meet the Guardians of Winter: the Warrior and Lover Archetypes

We just passed the halfway mark for the Winter, and I feel pressured to talk about all the lovely earthy aspects of the winter in the sacred wheel before she passes. I am always paying attention to themes and nature, and what’s been popping for me this week is war, which is timely because one of the archetypes for Winter is the Warrior. The other is the Lover. I will be mentioning the Lover, too, but if you want an in-depth look at that, check out season one, I think it’s podcast three. It’s an early one. 

If you live in a different climate, have a different culture, or follow a different wheel and have different archetypes to represent Winter, that’s cool. The wheel is a reflection of you, so tune in anyway and see what the Warrior and Lover have to teach.

Before we get into that, welcome to Surviving to Thriving, a weekly podcast hosted by yours truly, Laura Giles. Every week I talk about one topic that can bring the sacred wheel down to earth and make it accessible for every day life so you can use it as a guide through life, so it’s like nature’s owner’s manual for humans. 

I think that archetypes are the most relatable aspect of the wheel because they are universal. They are multifaceted so they are so adaptable to any situation. 

Winter is the season of survival. It’s the toughest. The time of life is gestation to birth. It’s the dark time when you can’t really see a lot of what’s going and you have to trust that it’s all working out. So much can go wrong. There aren’t  lot of resources or choices. Energy is low. It’s a time of rest. You may have to do some fighting, but you’re mostly waiting, relaxing, preparing, and trusting. 

That’s a reflection of the Warrior. People think about the warrior as a fighter, but most of his time is spent training, strategizing, resting, and waiting. I was at a re-enactment watching some jousting and sword fighting, and the facilitator is telling us that an actual sword fight only lasts a minute or maybe even less. They do a couple of swipes at each other. Someone is hit, and that’s pretty much it. Or they are too tired to continue. That burst of adrenaline only lasts a shorts time and once it’s spent, you’re exhausted and out of breath, so you better hope that you’re quick on your feet. 

That’s why wrestling and boxing matches only last 2 minutes. It’s hard to go much longer than that without a break. But if you’re really skilled, you could be like Puerto Rican boxer Jimenez who knocked out his opponent, Harald Geier in 17 seconds. But however long the fight lasts, think about how long they train before that just to get there. It’s probably months. All that for a fight that lasts a short time.

That’s winter. Most of the winter is quiet. We’re just enduring the cold while huddled inside, but when that ice storm comes and the power is out, we’re shoveling out of the driveway and trying to figure out how to stay warm and what to eat, it’s pretty grueling and horrible, but it doesn’t last. The plows come and clear the streets. The power comes back on. The stores open and shelves are restocked and we go back to business as usual.

So the warrior’s job is to prepare, gain survival skills, train for toughness, and learn how to protect, defend, and fight. Our modern fighting doesn’t generally include army type battles. It’s more like creating and maintaining healthy boundaries, speaking up for ourselves, and maybe advocating for things in the community like roads or schools. 

If the warrior is weak, we end up being a puppet that someone else controls. Maybe the puppet master is your child, your spouse, your boss, or your parents. It could be the media or advertisers. It could be anyone who is willing to take the power that you aren’t assuming and tell you what to think, do, believe, and value.

And if the warrior is too strong, we end up with a tyrant who takes everyone else’s power, runs over people, annihilates, and destroys when that’s not necessary. This type of warrior lives by the “kill or be killed” and the “might makes right” attitude. There is no sense of “we,” only “me.” So, he or she is typically pretty paranoid, dangerous, and lonely.

I was recently watching the White Queen, which is about the War of the Roses. I’m interested in all history, but particularly the Plantagenet dynasty because I, like most people with British ancestry, am descended from those people. Anyway, I could never understand why royalty felt compelled to kill their siblings, cousins, and even parents. I mean, this is their family! How could someone be that blood thirsty? But after watching that show, I could see why. 

They were all unhealthy, warmongering, paranoid warriors who feared - probably rightly so - that to leave any potential claimant to the throne alive meant that they would be killed. So they killed them before they could be killed. A few weeks back, I talked about the two choices that we have in life - love or fear. This type of warrior walks in fear. And fear creates chaos, more fear, and destruction.

But perhaps this can help you to see why the counterpart to the Warrior is the Lover. Yes, the season of winter isn’t just about doing battle. It’s about remembering love, gestating and waiting in love so that we can fight honorably, with dignity, and without tearing ourselves or others apart.

If you look at most the pantheons, love and war are partners. You have Aphrodite and Ares in the Greek pantheon. They are the goddess of love and the god of war. In Roman mythology Venus, the goddess of love, and Mars, the god of war, are the parents of Cupid. In Norse mythology, Freya is both goddess of love and war. The Egyptians had this paired in the same person too in Hathor. She became the goddess of love and destruction in her later period when she transformed into Sekhmet to go on her rampages. Once the rampage was over, she’d go back to her loving, motherly self.

As Winter is the time of survival, it’s easy to get trapped in fear. You know, what if the cold or time of hardship doesn’t end? What if someone wants to take what I have? What if there isn’t enough? All these insecurities come out during times of strife. 

If we move forward in fear, our whole outlook will be tainted by it. We live in a collapsed state where we can’t fully breathe, trust, or flourish. We become narrow minded in our thinking and get into a protective state rather than an open and giving state. This is why we need to embody the Lover now.

When Love is too little, we shrink, hide, and don’t let people in. We hoard our love, our joy, and close down our hearts. We’re dried up, sterile, and have no libido or zest for life. While that may ensure our survival, we’re not living with vitality, so what’s the point? 

When Love is too much, we’re Cassanovas. We’re lusty and chasing sex, pleasure, and engaging in hedonism. It’s superficial pleasure where the heart isn’t really engaged. It’s just sensuality on crack. Love needs a heart connection, and when the Lover is too much, there is no connection. It’s just transactional experiences where we’re always searching for the next one and the next one, even before this one is over.

We’ve got one waiting in the wings, the one we’re with, and working on hooking a third all so we have a never ending party of sensuality. 

But balanced Love is what I talked about in the podcast about love and fear. It endures. It’s kind, patient, and can go through the tough season of Winter as destruction and challenges rage all around without losing itself to fear. This is the essential challenge of life. You are love. I am love. We’re all love, and the challenge is not to lose sight of that - both within ourselves and in others - as we move through the hardships and disappointments of life.

You might wonder how something so sweet and life giving as the Lover could partner with something so destructive as the Warrior, but to ask that is to not understand that the Warrior is a servant. He acts from a place of love. He does battle not only to survive, but to preserve and protect what is worth loving. To preserve life, family, tradition, honor, property, but most of all love itself.

When the battle is done, win, lose, or draw, he returns to a space of love. It’s not about battling to win, dominate, or annihilate because the healthy Warrior knows that we are One. So, he seeks a return to the peace and love that will allow us to embrace our Oneness.

There are no enemies. Not really. War happens when one of us doesn’t have healthy boundaries. It’s about re-establishing boundaries. We do it all the time. If you’re taking more time than is offered, taking more space, or taking actual stuff, it’s up to me to say, “Hey, enough.” That’s appropriate. 

And if someone establishes their boundaries, or you notice that you’re taking up too much space, it’s up to you to act from a space of love and back up. You may not like their position, opinion, or action, but as long as it’s not encroaching on someone else’s sovereignty, it’s okay for them to be wrong, ignorant, unpleasant, or whatever label you are giving their behavior. 

Doing this is a way for both us to live with integrity and sovereignty. 

There is only separation and unity. Love brings us closer together. Fear drives us apart. And humans are liminal creatures who live between heaven and earth, always struggling to ride that line between love and fear, separation and unity, and light and dark. To do that, we have to honor both extremes without being overtaken by either. 

So, what I am saying is that it’s not a bad thing to have boundaries, to protect yourself, your people, or your stuff. We have to survive, and you have a responsibility to stop a warmonger who is intent on doing you or others harm.

I think the “peace and love” crowd thinks that we have to be pacifists and resist violence. We each have to choose our own path, and I wouldn’t speak against anyone’s beliefs. I can only share what I think today and tomorrow, I might feel differently if I am growing. But what the Warrior teaches me is that letting people ride over me is expressing weak Lover and Warrior energy. 

It’s weak Lover energy because it’s not a “love they neighbor” attitude to let others ride over me. It’s showing a lack of self love. And the weak Warrior is not fighting or setting any boundaries. That’s like saying, “I’m not here. I’m not important. I’m just a resource to be used.” Taking a, “I’d rather allow you to harm me than to harm you” path can be a way of abdicating responsibility for your own safety and sovereignty. Every case is holistic and different, but this is why we have pairs of archetypes for each season, not just one. It’s all about balance.

I am sure you can see tons of examples of how this is playing out right now in your relationships. All relationships are about balancing self love and other love, aren’t they? They are all about knowing when to engage in conflict and how to do that in a healthy way, aren’t they? I mean, what relationship doesn’t have conflict?

But let’s zoom out onto the world stage and talk about what is making this a theme for me right now. First, I was watching the show Musketeers. It’s the last season, season three. France has been at war with Spain for a long time and king Louis XIII is dying. The heir to the throne is a child so it’s a perfect opportunity for civil war and take over. People are hungry. There is no food. The people have no power and no way to advocate for themselves. Everyone at the top is out for themselves. No one is listening to anyone else or seeing anyone else’s needs. Everybody is trying to get what they can get and survive. I think it’s Aramis who says, “I want peace. I’m tired of fighting.” That struck me hard.

When has there ever been peace? There is always a war somewhere. Since the war to end all wars, the United States has participated in the Korean war, Vietnam, Laotian civil war, Permesta Rebellion in Indonesia, various uprisings in Lebanon, the Bay of Pigs, the Dominican civil war, the Cambodian civil war, Grenada, Libya, the Persian Gulf at various times and places, Panama, the Somali civil war, Bosnia, Croatia, Haiti, Kosovo, Afghanistan, Yemen, Iraq - multiple times, Pakistan, Uganda, Syria, and Niger. 

We are providing Ukraine with weapons, training, money, intelligence, and diplomatic support in the war against Russia. So, we are doing everything short of sending soldiers. It’s just one, long, nonstop war somewhere, and I don't know about you, but I’m sick of it. I’m sick of a handful of people in power who have no boundaries, who have no regard for the preciousness of life, and who will stop at nothing to make themselves rich and powerful. 

I don’t watch tv, but I have been peeping in because it’s been on my radar and I’m sick of seeing overcrowded refugee camps, hungry people, dirty children, women who have been raped, and lives being disrupted by war. War is not about one military fighting another one. It’s not contained and neat. It spills out into the economy, safety, food supply, clean water, education, and all aspects of life. 

The news media shows propaganda, but if you watch the videos posted by people with a camera on their phone, you see a different story. A real story of suffering, but also of hope and people helping people. You see soldiers who say they don’t want to kill people.

Then there is the news that doesn’t get shared by the mainstream media like what’s really going on with that Chinese weather balloon that was shot down or what’s going on with the Nord Stream Gas pipeline. I look at all this and think, “Has the world gone mad?” There is so much fear! And so much forgetting that we are love.

But winter is the season of the Warrior and nature has a balanced solution for every problem. If you are like me and are disturbed by all the chaos and want to do something, I am going to give you a peaceful solution to stand in your power in a space of love. It’s a way to practice healthy self-defense and diffuse negativity so that we have a safe place for everyone and everything to live because let’s face it. If things ever go nuclear, it’s not just humans who will be wiped out, but everything.

Confucius said, “Never give a sword to a man who can’t dance.” That’s the kind of warrior I invite you to cultivate within yourself. Keep your heart and sense of playfulness and wonder with you always. And use love as your weapon. There is nothing stronger than love. Think of it as the light that illuminates the darkness. You can’t hide that. Even in the sea of darkness, you can see a tiny light from far, far away. So be that light. 

Here’s how. Be love. Everywhere you go, be love, and share it with other people. Smile. Laugh. Give. Meditate on love. Inhale it. Exhale it. Love changes the energy through the law of resonance. The law of resonance says that everything vibrates with a certain frequency. Things with the stronger frequency will bring the energy of other things up or down. If the love frequency is strong, it will influence other things in the area to soften, open, and lighten up. In most cases, it’s easy because this is our “home” frequency. It’s who we are. It’s familiar. But if someone is very hurt or they haven’t been loved in a while and don’t trust, it can take a while for the love to penetrate. 

So be persistent. Don’t go into it with a certain outcome in mind. You’re not doing it to make someone fall in love with you. You’re just doing it to help them be more of who they really are. 

But here’s the warrior part, the hard part. Send love to strangers and people you don’t like. “Hurt people hurt people.” It’s the hurt that makes the world dark and heavy. If we collectively lift the hurt, there is less darkness and heaviness. There is a lot of crap that needs to be cleaned up in the human collective. Lots of sex trafficking, murder, genocide, poverty, hunger, bullying, stealing, disrespect, and gaslighting. 

The best people to clean that up isn’t the ones who created it. It’s those of us who either witnessed it or had it visited upon us. It might not be fair, but if you wait until the person who made the mess cleans it up, we could all be dead by then. If we all take a hand in cleaning up our own mess first, then the neighborhood around us, we all have a bright and shiny place to live. And maybe those who make the mess will soften and lighten up too and become one of the helpers. It happens. 

So, to be specific, here is an exercise that I do every morning at least once a day, sometimes twice or even more. I will put a video on my youtube channel so you can do it, too. The channel is in the show notes. Here’s what you do. Find a comfortable place where you won’t be disturbed. Close your eyes and center yourself. Smile. Invite a warm light of love into your heart. You don’t have to see or feel it to know that it’s there and that it’s working, but if you can see or feel it, that’s even better. My light comes from the heavens, the 5th dimension, God, the Creator, or the source of all love and light. It beams down from above, through my head and into my heart. 

As I breathe in, I bathe myself in love and light. As I exhale, I offer it to someone else. Now I said “offer.” I am not forcing it, just making it available to someone else. It’s up to them what they do with it. If it’s someone I have a crush on and he uses it to love someone else, so be it. What happens to it is not up to me. If I offer it to a millionaire and he blesses someone with a legacy and overlooks me, so be it. Don’t make this about you. Got it? Love is unconditional. Let it be unconditional.

So, inhale for me. Exhale for you. If someone is sick, you could do the whole sitting for you and them. There is no set rule. You could do it for a woodland that is suffering from being in a forest fire or agricultural run off or something. It doesn’t have to be people. Our fellow earthlings are humans, plants, animals, mineral and the spirit kingdom, so you could send love to any of those, all of those, or the universe as a whole. 

I typically inhale for me and then rotate who the next one is for. I go through my immediate family, then neighbors, friends, people from my past, my clients, my ancestors, random people I come across, and especially people that I don’t like or respect. If I am the problem, that softens me. If they are the problem, it could soften them so they stop hurting people. Either way, it's a win/win. We get back what we send out, so there is nothing but good from this practice.

Another thing you can do is do chanting meditations where you are saying something that appeals to Spirit, love, or goodness. Words have power, that’s why we call writing words “spelling.” It’s like casting a spell to manifest your will. So, when you chant “God is good” or “Om” or a spiritually powerful word that comes from the heart, it resonates the love that you feel. It can’t be “tree, tree, tree” or “I love ice cream.” Sanskrit words or spiritual words work best.

This is why Buddhist, Hindu and Christian chanting leaves you feeling so peaceful to listen to it or to sing it. And did you know that if you play this music within a space that feels heavy or you think has bad energy, it will clear it? Yep, I recently found out that it is used in exorcism rituals in more than one tradition. It’s ironic how this stuff comes across my radar, but I literally experienced this from two different traditions and when I play it in the background, I admit that I sleep better and feel more peace. 

But it’s not just placebo. Science backs this up. Research has shown that people who chant are calmer and healthier. It boosts the immune system and can help the body to heal itself- even if the problem is cancer. My acupuncturists plays ancestral chanting in his office as he’s working with clients to help him be a better healer and to help his clients heal. It’s a true story!

Chanting gives you more energy. It reduces negative emotions like anxiety, anger, and fear. It can lower blood pressure and lift mood - this includes deep and pervasive mood disorders like depression and post traumatic stress disorder because it changes the brain. Yes, it enhances brain function so if you have had a stroke or have epilepsy, it can make your brain function better. It slows aging, helps with addiction, helps you sleep better, and helps your digestion. 

So, try it. There is at least one on my youtube channel. Check it out. 

Another thing you can do is forgive. You can do the same practice that I told you about for love. Breathe in forgiveness for yourself. Then offer it to someone else. Forgiveness is about releasing whatever you are holding on to. When we forgive, we let go of attachments, hopes, resentments, and things that keep us from being in a space of what is. If I hope that you will love me, I am binding both of us to that script. If one of us in not in that script, I am not living honestly or being here. I know some people want to hold on to good things, but good things are just as binding as negative or undesirable ones. Let it all go. Forgive. It is freeing for you and all the other creatures of the earth. And if you love them, don’t you want them to live free? 

It is typically more powerful to name the thing that you are releasing, but if you don’t know what it is or don’t know if you are withholding, you could keep it generic and say, “I release you.” This doesn’t mean you have to have a relationship with them. It doesn’t mean you don’t still love them or want them in your life. It just means that you’re allowing things to be as they are without grasping on to it. 

Let your weapon be love. When you search for the win/win solution, you end up with peace. What is the point of winning a battle if you have a destroyed environment, sickness, a wrecked economy, death, famine, and people who are plotting revenge at the end? That’s not a good use of warrior energy. Always remember to partner the healthy Warrior with the healthy Lover. Use your downtime to train. In this case, training means being in a space of love because love is your weapon, right? 

The Warrior is one of my favorite archetypes. I think so many people think of it as a negative thing because who likes fighting. If this is you, change the way you think about fighting. Think of it as standing in your power, holding your boundaries, and maintaining your integrity. Being a warrior isn’t about smashing other people so that you can stand. We can all stand together. In fact, I believe we only win when that’s how the fighting ends. 

If you want to be a love warrior, check out the youtube channel for some love meditations, chants, and practices. And if you want to meet other people who are moving from Surviving to Thriving in a space of love, check out my free online community. I would love to see you there. 

Everybody has access to the Warrior archetype. It comes out when we need to establish boundaries, when things need to change, or we need to protect something. However, some people embody this as their mascot. Sometimes it shows up in the work that they do. Soldiers are obvious Warriors, but first responders are Warriors too. Police, fire fighters, emergency medical people, child protective services people, Red Cross workers, people who work with refugees and in prisons. Trauma therapists. We all witness tragedies and atrocities, not just once, but over and over again. 

In modern society, our warriors are expected to go to work and come home and coach the little league team or go to the father/daughter dance. We’re expected to compartmentalize it and act as if it’s not happening or that it doesn’t bother us. This is why there is so much PTSD and suicide among Warriors. 

In a healthy society, Warriors are cared for by the society that they protect. War is everybody’s  business. We can support our warriors by having rituals of return. When they come back from the horror, listen to their stories, give them a space to be heard and held by the community. Acknowledge the sacrifice that is made on our behalf. This is a way for us to share their burden and to purify them from the darkness that they walk in. We can’t expect our soldiers to do the work that they do if we don’t have their back.

When we hear their stories, we understand all that they do for us, and it makes it harder for us to ask them to do horrible things. It makes it harder for us to do horrible things to each other because we see the aftermath. That’s as it should be. Warriors are not expendable. They are not invisible. They are warriors who need to be honored. Restoring the relationship between professional warriors is a great way to get in good relationship with the warrior inside of us. So, if you have a soldier in your life, maybe it’s time to make some changes in that relationship.

Thanks for joining me guys. Winter is doing a sprint out the door. I’m sad to see it go, but it’s not too late to tap into that energy and strengthen your inner Warrior. See you next week.